More tranny stories later!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
