community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
