I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
