I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
