he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
