I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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