We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Someone came in the potted fern
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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