yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
