Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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