You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
