did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
