I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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