Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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