His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
