I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
