i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
