It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
