I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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