the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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