Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
