The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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