Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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