so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
soo... how was my night?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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