Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize