Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
