you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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