I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
