This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
