Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize