I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
