She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
