If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Found your dick twin last night
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
