Nicole vs. Life
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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