The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we're making bets on your personal life
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize