I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize