I will die if light touches me.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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