So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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