drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
