im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
