My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
