i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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