Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Are we still banned from the library?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize