my being single is dangerous.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
