Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
