dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
