your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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