I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
