hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
