Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
