Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
