**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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