I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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