I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
