Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
