You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
