Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
