got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
