i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize