Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
